Dash Off A Memory/Rules of the House



by Let Ideas Compete

It's GUEST BLOG FRIDAY, and this will be Dorothy Ann Skarles's last post for a while.

Dorothy is taking some time off to adjust to her new life as a widow.  There are many things to sort out and sort through.

I hope that in the near future she will take up her son on his offer to help her set up her own blog.  She is such a talented writer, temporarily thrown off balance by the loss of the love of her life.

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Rules of the House

by Rob Watling

During our family get-togethers at breakfast or dinner, no discussion was off limits.

For Mom and Dad, it was the time for parental talks.  For the boys, it was time to question and ask “why?”

At the ages of 13, 15, and 18, the boys' talk usually turned to girls.

There were so many girls, that for me, it seemed as if they were coming out of the woodwork. They were coming to our house to eat, to help with schoolwork, to listen to music and play the piano.

It wasn’t long before the parental talks turned to sex dialogue.

For Mom and Dad, it was explaining the house rules about sex and how we felt about them becoming sexually active.


by crisispregnancyprogramme

I would aim a penetrating stare at my fifteen and eighteen-year-olds and say, “Remember, sex isn’t free.  There are consequences. Never be sorry.  Always practice safe sex. Always use a condom.”

I didn’t just shoot out one opinion on the subject; it was rolling one-liners whenever needed.

“Mom and Dad are going out. No monkey business. Remember, no girls in the house while we are gone!”

Ironically, the youngest son, despite always being with his brothers and hearing Mom lecture on girls and sex, must have had his ears packed with wax.

When Dad and Mom came home, we knew a girl had been in the house. She had left tell-tail signs in the bathroom.

At the breakfast table and over pancakes, I asked, “Okay, who had the girl over?

My oldest and middle sons both shook their heads and said, “It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me!”

I looked at my youngest, who had a sheepish look on his face. “Well?”

Edward pointed at his brothers. “You only told them, no girls in the house. You never told me!”

Which just goes to show, when you are trying to teach kids about important sexual issues, you’d better talk to each one separately.

So dash off your own memory on how you nailed your kid in a chair, pointed a finger in his face, and said, “I mean you buddy! These are the rules of the house.”

daskarles©2011

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 Thanks, Dorothy.  Hope to hear from you again soon.

Dash Off a Memory, Create a Memoir/Marriage Proposal


It's Guest Blog Friday, and here's Dorothy Ann Skarles with a marriage proposal.

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Photo credit:  Makena G

Out of nowhere, he proposed, “Will you marry me?”

In the grip of surprise, I blurted, “I have to think about it.”

My mind reeled at our whirlwind courtship—all of five dates and an interval of a three-month family vacation to Mississippi.

First date, a Saturday night college dance. The second date included a Sunday drive to the mountains in an antique ford car that could barely make it up hill, but would speed lickety-split back down. On top of a mountain where you could see forever, I learned how to shoot a rifle left-handed while target shooting.

The following week, on a third date, we went fishing.  He began to bait my hook, and I said as the boat moved up and down from a wave, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to bait my own hook and cast out.”

When we came home with an over-flow of a bucket of perch, Momma laughed and said, “Daddy asked if you really went fishin’, better call him up and tell him we’re having a fish fry.”


Photo credit:  Rickydavid

I left for vacation the following week, and when I came home, Momma drove into the driveway and shrieked, “Good Lord, there he is again waiting for you on the doorstep.”

Our forth date was a fraternity dance, followed by a fifth date for a dinner and show. At the end of a bewitching evening, we strolled along the city sidewalks and stopped at a jewelry store to look at rings.

On September 1st, magic happened, and I became engaged along with shocked my parents with the news that we were getting married by a minister in a church in three days.

Father flaked out on the couch. Mother said, “The least you can do is wait a week.”

A whirlwind of activity followed, and we were married on September 10th, with both sides of our families at the church.

I was even late for the wedding. Music played “Here Comes the Bride,” over and over and I still stood next to my father as if I was riveted to the oak floor. Daddy put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a hug. “Old Top, you don’t have to get married if you don’t want too. Don’t worry about anything, the gifts can be given back, and they can all eat mamma’s dinner and go home.”

This is the FAST "Dashing Off A Memory" version of a great day and marriage that lasted over forty years.

My husband always said I hooked him when I bated my own hook.

But you know what?

I never put another worm on my hook again.

Jim always did it for me.

What can you write about getting engaged or married for your memoir?

daskarles©2011

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P.S.  Dorothy's book, Scent of Diamonds, is on sale at Amazon for a limited time for 99 cents.

Thanks Dorothy.

Emails or Deletes?

It's Guest Blog Friday, and here's Dorothy Ann Skarles with a warning. 

Be careful when you open those emails!

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Photo credit:  jxnholt

Welcome to the wonderful domain of emails and the evolution into technology.

As the trend grows for added texting and surfing, it enables the world to encroach even where not wanted.

The lesson is to be careful.

Today, I received an email saying it was from “Amin” in the subject line.  I mistook it to mean it was from my email administration server.

If I'd been thinking straight, I would have pushed the delete when I spotted a 2007 copyright from under a Mrs. X signature.

The jest of this email is now paraphrased to honor their copyright and to save a lot of heart ache and trouble if you believe what is written.

It seems they had waited a long time for me to contact them, and they wanted me to know I still had a confirmable bank money draft of half a million United States dollars waiting just for me.

Apparently, I had deleted a similar message before, and now they wanted to see if sending an email twice from West Africa would entice me, the second time around.



Photo credit:  Beth 77

The email went on to say, the big bucks were safe and waiting just for me in the wings to collect. Then being typical about what one could expect, they added a small service fee of $190 US dollars to guarantee any further delay in sending my big wad of cash.

Mrs. X even magnanimously offered to pay the little bitty $190 US dollars herself, but “darn it,” the guys holding my money wouldn’t accept it. I was the one who had to do the paying.

Then to make sure all went well, this thoughtful woman wanted me to email her the minute I received my pot of gold making it sound like I would have a check to cash.


Photo credit: Mr eNil

Goliath pools of “get rich schemes” are here to stay, and are growing bigger on the Internet.

As my Southern Daddy used to say, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

Look at me—I was not seduced to send money, but I did think “Amin” meant Administration and opened an e-mail for a get rich scheme.

A new subject for Dash Off A Memory. 

Warn family members to pay attention. Be cautious, not sorry.

So dash off a memory…

1. Have you ever been scammed? In what way? What happened?
2. Did someone steal your credit card? How? Did you know the person?
3. What should you do if someone does steal a credit card?
4. How long did it take to straighten out your problem?

daskarles©2011

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Thanks, Dorothy,

Dash Off A Memory, Create a Memoir/Precious Keepsakes

It's Guest Blog Friday, and you know what that means.

Here's Dorothy Ann Skarles!

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Hobbies or collectibles from family members seem to become treasures that never leave the home where they were first displayed.

I have liquor bottles shaped like model trains (still full of liquor), antique bottles extricated from the earth, and unusual beer bottles in different colors (empty) that my boys say I cannot get rid of.

All this great stuff that has been accumulating dust throughout the years is suddenly in a different category.

They are now my responsibility.

dangerismycat

I even have a beer can with Billy Carter's signature.  It says on the label:

Brewed expressly for and with the personal approval of one of America's all-time great beer drinkers--Billy Carter.  

"I had the beer brewed just for me.  I think it's the best I've ever tasted.  And I've tasted a lot.  I think you'll like it, too." 

When asked where the other five cans went, my youngest said, "Mom, you’ve got some famous beer there. Billy Carter is ex-president Carter’s brother. That can will be famous one of these days."

I can’t say I’ve ever been won over to have my own hobby or collectible. 

Until now.

A growing collection of posts for Dash off A Memory/Create a Memoir.

Laughing Squid

Many years ago, while visiting a beautiful home, I saw a wall of shelves in the living room with white porcelain plates in delicate colors displaying coiled shapes of dog feces.

The excrement even came in little balls.

Believe it or not, I have actually seen this bizarre collectible twice in my lifetime.

Did you ever have a hobby?  If so, do you still have it?

What did you collect—stamps, baseball cards, maps, antique dolls, old cars?

Did you ever keep or see a strikingly out of the ordinary hobby or collectible?


daskarles©2011

Photo credit:  Collectibles: by something.from.nancy

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Thanks Dorothy.

Dash off A Memory/School Days Growing Up

Here's Dorothy Ann Skarles, my Friday guest blogger, with another lesson on Memoir. 

What do you remember about your school days? 

Dorothy has memories a plenty.

School Days Growing Up



by Valerie R

What I remember about my school days—is moving. I never went to the same school twice.

Daddy always used to say, "Pumpkin, traveling is the best education you can get." And we sure did travel the US map.

No matter where we lived, when the magic month of April rolled around and Daddy got itchy feet, he would say, "Mama, let's get Dorothy Ann and go to..." And right then and there, I would be taken out of school and not taken back until the snow hit in November.

For Daddy, having a new business was pleasure—work, save, buy, have a quick sell, and move on. Then like the song, "Mama always said there would be days like this," Mama smiled at Daddy and me and answered, "Give me time to pack and we’ll go anywhere Daddy goes, as long as I have room for my waffle iron in the car."

And even though I’ve grown some, I guess I inherited Daddy’s itchy feet, because I still believe traveling is the best education you can get. With each change, I had opportunity to learn and get to know how the other half lives. While I faced challenges from all those lessons I missed from April to November in school, I still made it to college, and earned a teacher’s degree.

by Giampado Macorig

So what can you conjure up from your school days to Dash Off A Memory for your memoir?

1. Did you stay in the same school, or go to different schools?
2. Were you a good student? If not, why not? What subjects were hard for you?
3. Do you have the same friends from grade school, high school and college? If not, how come? (I did have one before she passed away very young.)
4. Did you go on to college? If not, why not?
5. Did you like grade school.  Why, or why not?

I liked to learn and go to school, but it was hard because of what I missed. On the other hand, being a kid when the month of May came, I knew I’d grow anxious for April to hurry on up and do its magic. Get my Daddy’s itchy feet antsy to move on to something bigger and better, which it always did. Then all at once, it would be summer and winter vacation time for me. I could hardly wait to get out of school to see where we’d go next.

Dorothy Ann Skarles.

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Thanks Dorothy!

How Do I Love Thee?/Valentine Memoir

To dash off your own memory of a Valentine's Day, you may want to start with a sentimental verse to put in your memoir.

"Roses are red
Violets are blue
Chocolate is sweet,
And so are you."

The sweetest joys, however, might not always be so sentimental.



By giveaway boy

Like my memory of a grab bag filled with valentine cards that each fifth grade student had to bring and read when picked.

As my turn came, I opened my card with a big red heart on the cover and read,

"If I had a nickel for every time I thought of you,
I might think of you more often.”

My friend Lillian made a face and read,

“I thought of you all morning—

But I’m feeling better this afternoon.”



As Lillian and I walked home after school, we both decided that boys had picked those corny cards to put in the grab bag.



By annajarske.com

Chocolate may be the big message of love on Valentine’s Day, but I didn’t get wooed with candy until I was in grade twelve. It was my first big red heart box filled with See’s delicious chocolates and a card.

The card showed a shapely cave man, clad in a leopard skin, brandishing a huge club as he chortled, “I bin a love-starved and a-glowerin’ in my den. Don’t you know I need some lovin’, every, now and then?”

Needless, to say, I never showed that card to my daddy—the very southern daddy that might meet the boy-friend at the door.

In dashing off your own memory of a Valentines Day, the following questions may help.

1. Were you spurned or wooed on Valentines Day?
2. What kind of Valentine cards did you get?
3. Do you remember who you gave a first box of chocolates to?
4. Did you ever coo a proposal such as: “Wilt thou be my Valentine? Say thou wilt—and we’ll spend the rest of our lives beneath the same quilt?”
5. Did you ever have a favorite Valentine chocolate drink?

Cupid flies an arrow in the air with a recipe to add to your memoir, a scrumptious little chocolate drink for dessert at the end of an evening seduction to enjoy with your loved one, a gift presented with hearts, flowers, candlelight, and music. All you say is, “I made this especially for you.”



By annajarske.com

 Cappuccino Delight…With A Touch of Brandy And Chocolate

• 2 cups strong black coffee, piping hot
• 2 cups half-and-half
• 6 ounces brandy
• Whipped cream
• Chocolate shavings

Combine coffee, half-and-half and brandy in a saucepan and heat, but do not boil. Pour into demitasse, or coffee cups. Top with whipped cream and chocolate shavings. Makes about 4 to 6 cups.

Enjoy!

daskarles©2011

Thanks Dorothy.  Fridays would not be the same without you.

Memoir/Bereavement/Are You a Couch Potato?



Viterxo13

On this Guest Friday, Dorothy Skarles shares a note she received from her brother-in-law that relates to all memoir writers.

To this, she adds another installment in Dash Off a Memory, Create a Memoir, by revisiting a subject she knows well--Bereavement.

Welcome Dorothy

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Steve Rhodes

This morning, my brother-in-law sent me this little note, and since I feel the sentiment goes well with all memoir writers, I want to share it with you. 

Be who you are and say what you feel.

Because those who matter, don't mind,
and those who mind, don't matter.

So remember, if you have lost a loved one, you will feel better after writing about the loss and what troubles you.

To jumpstart your memoir, I present you with two questions:



By soumit

Are you a couch potato?

It's the sitting that puts on the pounds?

Have you let exercise go by the wayside?


Activity avoids the pounds.

Following are the reactions most commonly reported by surviving spouses in bereavement  groups.

• It takes all your energy to just cope with your new status in life--widowhood.
• Many things you knew you should do, you don't.  
• You have a difficult time reaching out for help.
• Even thoughts of staying healthy fall along the wayside.
• During the beginning of those first few months, walking for exercise slides to zero, and sitting or lying in bed continues off and on for weeks.
• You are in withdrawal, and your house becomes a mess.

One man in the bereavement group said that his daughter, who had come to take care of him, dropped one of his socks in the hallway, and neither of them picked it up. It got to the point where he wanted to see how long it stayed there before either of them put it back where it belonged.

by jekin the box

The trouble with that man's story is that I understand it. As I look around my living room, I see a week of rolled up newspapers, still unread and held together with rubber bands, stashed on my rocking chair. A telephone book lies on the floor, and several mysteries are strewn on the end table. My beautiful glass-top dining room table holds my lap top and piles of printed paper, along with three dictionaries.

I have to take charge and get off that couch!

And it would probably help if I thought of housecleaning as exercise to get rid of a couple of pounds.

Housework just might be my salvation in accepting my new life and giving me the motivation to stay healthy.

After all, housework is never done, is it?

daskarlesÓ2010

Twilight Times Books

Dash Off a Memory/Create a Memoir, Lesson Two

Once again, my friend and critique partner, Dorothy Ann Skarles, is sharing one of her lessons on how to create a memoir.

Here's hoping she will continue to share her lessons, maybe even start a series.

Dorothy taught memoir writing at Lodi Adult School until her retirement. She is the author of two novels and one non-fiction book—Learning To Write The Easy Way published by Twilight Times Books.

Lesson 2: Going down memory lane.

A memoir is based on the memory of events. The people are real and the story is true as you know it. From now on as you write, you will be a story teller. You will explore all aspects of your life in depth and, as in fictional writing, you will use fictional techniques like adding characters and dialogue. These elements will turn your memoir into a story that may even be published.

Everyone’s life is unique. It is after all your very own. But even great memories require some research. Check with family members about people, places, and special occasions. Write down what they can add to your story. Look at old magazines, books, movies, old photos, and listen to music to help you remember. Check out timeline books in the library. They will describe the highlights in any given year and will help you add details to your story. Specific aspects bring your story alive for the reader. It helps to visualize memory and makes the story more interesting for the reader.

Example:  "Tom Brokaw referred to me as the Greatest Generation in his book because I fought in World War II."

Or you might write: "I was a republican but I voted for Obama in 2008. The man was for change and I wanted change."

You will need one or two notebooks to write down facts so they are not forgotten. Carry a notebook with you at all times and as memories come to you write them down.

Guidelines to write in your notebook:

• Write down street names, towns you lived in, neighbors’ names, what you cooked with, what you wore and how fashions have changed.

• Write about family life, relationships, your accomplishments, and other interesting or unique experiences.

• Use dialogue and describe your characters’ personalities, appearance and actions. Remember that you, too, are a character, so be sure to give a sense of your own physical presence by what you said and did.

• School, work and the places you traveled are also good sources for stories.

• As you write, use the five senses in your descriptions. At least two or three so the reader can see, hear, smell, taste or touch the scene. You remember what it was like; your challenge is to recreate that scene in your reader's mind. You smell good, he said as he kissed me. “Like your mother’s red roses in the garden.

Where to start/Your birth

You need not write chronology, but most people remember something about their birth and what others have told them about the event. It is an easy place to start your memoir. Take a moment to think about it. Do you know the who, what, when, where, and how of that dramatic event? Answer all the questions you can and give your piece a title. "Baby Boy Turns Into Twins. Girl Of The Year. One Month Late. War Baby. A Gift Of Life."

Questions to ask yourself:

• Where was I born? Hospital, at home or in a car?

• What did family and friends say about your birth?

• Did they guess if you were a boy or girl?

• How was your name picked?

• Do you like your name?

• Did your name give you problems?

• Were you an only child or did you have brothers and sisters?

• Name them and give ages.

• Did you like being the oldest, middle or youngest? And why?

• How old were your parents at your birth?

• Were your parents rich, poor, or considered”well off”?

• Did your mother keep a baby book?

• Is their something humorous you can say about your birth?

• What kind of work did your mother and father do?

• Where were they living at the time?

• Did your grandparents say anything about your birth?

• Were you born with any health problems?

• Who was the president of the United States at the time

Never let anything stop you or be afraid to try something new when you write.

Remember, "Amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic."
                                                                                                --Anonymous

Happy writing.

Dorothy.