The Pitfalls In Starting A New Life

It's Guest Blogger Friday, and Dorothy Ann Skarles is back with what I consider a warning.  "Marry in haste and repent at leisure."

The Pitfalls in Starting A New Life



by jcoterhals



All in all, a widows' bereavement group is a safe place to connect intuitively to the experiences shared with others who have "been there and done that."

During a monthly support group luncheon, the conversation negotiated its way toward intense loneliness and the perils of jumping into another marriage.

"Well, I don’t like being by myself," said one new widow addressing the group. "My husband and I talked all the time, and now I’m lonely. My house is empty."  She paused, shook her head. "I don’t know how you gals stand it! I’m only fifty-six and really miss the good sex."

"Well, it’s better to be fifty-six and lonely, then fifty-six, married and miserable," snapped another woman.

"I know where you’re coming from," said the woman sitting across from her with a knowing smirk on her face. "Since my husband passed away, I find I don’t mind being alone. At least his girlfriend has stopped calling."

"Loneliness can really get you into trouble, all right," said another.  "I was married forty years and feeling so lonely, I jumped into a marriage ten months after my husband died. Then the frigin’ B divorced me within a year, and married someone else.  Now I’m back where I started."

by Pikaluk

"That’s not the only thing that can get you into trouble," added still another woman. "I made two stupid mistakes—selling my house, and getting remarried. Now I’m on a tight leash until I figure a way out. My second husband used my money in a house he bought for us, but he didn’t add my name on the deed."  She looked at the faces around her and added.  "I can tell you, alone or not, getting married again isn’t necessarily the best way to deal with widowhood."

"That may be," said a woman still plagued with mourning tears in her eyes, "but sometimes it’s hard to know what to do.  I’ve been remarried now for eight years, and have to hide the fact that I still grieve for my first husband."

As the luncheon ended in subdued surroundings, I heard one woman whisper to the woman seated next to her. "I guess it’s marry in haste and repent at leisure."

And as for me, two things stood out from all the luncheon conversation—I’d better pay attention, and think before I make any major changes in my life. In other words, not do anything in "haste and repent at leisure."

And since I was in an all women’s group, without any men commenting, I would imagine that widowers should also be careful in their new life.

Dorothy Ann Skarles.

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Thanks Dorothy!